Cards and Letters to the Editor

Cards and Letters to the Editor

Ever since we started this blog I’ve been inundated with cards and letters from fans complaining that they don’t have computers to write in with, and apparently they don’t have phones either so they’re unable to call in during episodes of RFU. Nobody has been more surprised than me on this because I genuinely didn’t realize we had that many fans.

And so, here is a new feature to the program called Cards and Letters to the Editor. Our very first letter comes to us from Dick Handy of Wankers Corner, Oregon, who writes in and says:

“Dear Editor,

I’ve lived in Wankers Corner, Oregon all of my life. It may seem like a strange place to visitors, but you get the feel of it after awhile. The problem is this: Wankers is actually pronounced “Wonkers”, but tourists seem to travel from miles around just to have their picture taken next to a sign that says “Welcome to Wankers Corner.”

I am extremely offended by these jerk offs, but I don’t know what to do about it. Can you offer some advice?

Sincerely,

Dick Handy”

Editor’s reply:

Well Jesus Christ, Dick, quit freaking out and get a grip on yourself! Did it ever occur to the citizens of your fine city to simply change the spelling? Or could it be that the only remotely interesting tourist attraction in your fine city is that damn sign?

You may not realize this but there are cities and towns on this planet with far more funnier names than Wankers Corner. For example:

Bumbang, Victoria, Australia
Condom, France
Crap, Albania
Crotch Lake, Ontario, Canada
Cunt, Spain
Dikshit, India
Dildo, Trinity Bay, Newfoundland
Erect, North Carolina
Fucking, Austria
Gayville, South Dakota
Horneytown, North Carolina
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Phuket, Thailand
Semen, Bulgaria
Shit, Iran
Sugar Tit, South Carolina
Twatt, Scotland
Vagina, Russia

So you see Dick, no matter how you pronounce it, Wankers Corner is far from the most embarrassing name for a city or town. In fact, you might want to consider just how silly sounding your own name is before you go bitching about the name of your city.

I am curious though, is there a high school in Wankers Corner, and if so, what is their football team named? I can just hear it now… “…and the Spanking Monkeys are now taking the field…” And by any chance is the local theater showing that Bruce Lee movie, Fists of Fury?

Thank you for your letter.

Sincerely,

Tracy (Never Had A Nickname) McCall
Head Writer,
Singer, Songwriter,
Attorney at Log
Paulie Family Productions